Wise and Wonderful Women: From the TMCC to Mother Teresa

Since I have been in Tirana, I have had the pleasure of meeting many wise and wonderful women. This post is about them and how they have helped me.  

I have also included the presentation I will give about Mother Teresa based on all the fabulous feedback I received from people who heeded my call for their perceptions of Mother Teresa. I received well over 60 responses in all—amazing!

There are several links embedded in this post. I think most of them are in Albanian, but they may be interesting to explore to get a sense of the language, the people, the food.

Wise and Wonderful Women of Tirana

I actually started meeting the wise and wonderful women of Tirana before I ever set foot on Albanian soil. A former colleague of mine had seen an email about my impending trip to Tirana and contacted me with the name of an Albanian woman he knew through the international humanitarian organization he works for.

I emailed her to introduce myself and she emailed me back the names and emails of two more women who live and work in Tirana. One, in fact, is an administrator at my host university, who found me a wonderful apartment before I came and welcomed me with open arms.

And the other has become my first best friend in Tirana.

[Side note: Social connections seem to be very important here. You meet someone who puts you in touch with someone else who knows someone else who can help you with whatever it is you need. Kind of like good ole “southern style” networking, but it seems/feels slightly different to me for some reason.

It may “feel” different because of how much I need to network here, for even the most basic of things like where to go to buy a pillow or where to catch the bus to TEG (Tirana East Gate Mall). These are not things I can easily look up/research on the internet, as oftentimes no information is available on the internet or, if it is, it is in Albanian and the Google translation can be unreliable. 

And don’t get me started on Google maps or the (IMHO) even worse Apple map app. Finding your way almost anywhere requires networking.

And there is no “Yelp” or “Urban Spoon” or “Open Table.” Even “TripAdvisor” info is rather sparse.

So networking isn’t so much a courtesy as a necessity (at least for newcomers).]

What follows are brief descriptions of some of the women I have met and why I think they are wise and wonderful.

The School Administrator. As I indicated above, the school administrator found me an apartment close to school with all the features I asked for. I was able to move in the second day I was here.

She has also been very generous with her time even though her position at the university is time-consuming and stressful. Moreover, she made special efforts to integrate me into the university culture, inviting me to various events, making sure I know how to get places, including me in ceremonies.

She is the epitome of what a good administrator should be -- she strikes the perfect balance of being warm and knowledgeable and professional. A wise and wonderful woman indeed!

My First Best Friend in Tirana. Another woman who welcomed me to Tirana long before I got here was the other woman my former colleague put me in touch with through his contacts. She emailed useful information about Tirana long before I boarded the plane to come here, and she was the first person I shared a meal with once I got here.

She is a young business woman with so much positive energy she literally glows. She and her two wonderful children and generous mother have taken me under their wings – taking me shopping, treating me to wonderful meals (more on that later), inviting me to Sunday coffees, teaching me Albanian, cooking me traditional dishes like speca të mbushur (stuffed peppers. Click here for a recipe.) and byrek më spinaq (spinach pie similar to spanakopita. Click here for a recipe.)

It was she who took me to the Castle in the Park for coffee my third day here; it as she who treated me to the best Chinese food I’ve ever eaten; it was she who took me to a fish restaurant where you pick out the actual fish you want to eat at the door.

It was she who helped me find a place to buy a filter coffee maker my second day here and took me to the best place in town to buy coffee.She has advised me on so many things. As I have met more people who are either expats in Tirana or fellow visiting scholars, many have marveled at how quickly I adjusted to my new life here.

I have my first best friend to thank for that. She took a chance on me and welcomed me with open arms. A truly wonderful gesture for which I will always be grateful.

I am also grateful to her for introducing me to the investigative reporter and a group of women collectively known as the Tuesday Morning Coffee Club (TMCC).

The Investigative Reporter. The night my first best friend took me to Juvenilja Castle for coffee, the investigative journalist met us there. She is a young woman who has a local television show called Njerëz të Humbur (Missing People). Click here for more information about her show. As I have written here before, during the communist era, many people lost track of their relatives who emigrated from Albania.

Through her investigative work, she brings families back together, many of whom have lost track of each other for decades. She also has been working to get those of Albanian descent in other countries to tell their stories of what they know of Albania.

Through her work, she is also both promoting Albanian culture beyond Albanian borders and reuniting families. What could be more wonderful than that?

The reporter will be making her first trip to the U.S. at the end of the month. I hope she receives a fitting reception from the people she meets.

Tuesday Morning Coffee Club. I personally could not have asked for a better reception than the one I received from the Tuesday Morning Coffee Club (TMCC), another group of women I was able to meet through my first best friend in Tirana.

Soon after I arrived in Tirana, I received an email from a friend and colleague back home asking, “Have you found the expats yet?” Well, I hadn’t, but through my first best friend I did. Boy, did I!

My first best friend encouraged me to join a women’s civic organization, which I did, which led to my meeting a group of expats who have been living in Tirana for years. This group includes a high school English teacher, an Argentinian /American artist, an American law enforcement consultant, the British Ambassador’s wife, and the director of a nonprofit organization that works with women and children in remote areas of Albanian, among others.

These woman have “shown me the ropes” in regard to where to find a yoga class, how to tell a taxi driver approximately where I live, and getting around the country by bus.

I have also shared coffee with them at the French Bakery and attended a lovely tea in ambassador’s wife magnificent (and quiet!) garden.

These women also engage in courageous and meaningful charity work that benefits women and children in Tirana and all over Albania.

And they have fun! Just last week, the high school teacher regaled me with the story of crashing a movie premier with an Australian conductor she had met that evening.

It is these kinds of stories that give me courage to step out of my comfort zone a bit, take a leap, try to negotiate buying vegetables from street vendors or asking for help in my rudimentary Albanian. Not quite the same as crashing a movie premier, but perhaps the first steps toward more courageous behavior.

My Office Mate. Besides the women I have met through my first best friend, I have had the pleasure of sharing an office with a wise and wonderful young woman who is working on her PhD, doing loads of administrative work, teaching classes, planning a wedding,  and serving as my link to those at my host university that do not speak English. She is one busy woman!

As noted above, my office mate is an incredibly busy woman. She is also incredibly patient, imaginative, and smart. As far as I can tell, I was stationed in her office because of her excellent English and translation skills. She actually speaks four languages: Albanian, Italian, English, and French (although she would modestly say she is only ‘basically competent’ in French, not proficient. My guess is she is better than she thinks J).  She is completing her PhD in political science with an emphasis on human rights at an Italian university.

One of her most endearing qualities is her fancifulness. She can weave stories so well and just make you laugh and be happy. I have encountered few storytellers who are as good as she is – and she is telling the stories in English! Which leads me to another of her outstanding qualities.

She has the patience of a saint. She is constantly having to translate for me on top of all her other duties, and she does it with cheerful aplomb (can aplomb be cheerful? Why not? Language is flexible and always evolving J).

She has on occasion told me, “I am tired today, I don’t know why.” I have told her I think that having to deal with me and having to constantly be translating may contribute to her being tired. She has laughed off that explanation saying, “Oh no! No!”

But really it must be tiring always having to think and talk in at least two different languages, if not three.

One last amazing quality I must relate about my office mate: She is fearless when navigating her way on foot (in high heels!) through traffic. She and I went to look for wedding dresses the other day after work, and she was weaving in and out of traffic like it was nothing. She took my hand and led me through.

She explained that she had been independent for some time and learning how to navigate the traffic came second nature to her. “You just have to have confidence,” she stated.

I doubt I will ever have the confidence of my office mate, but I am grateful to call her my friend and my protector.

My Official Contact. There is one more wise and wonderful woman I will to highlight here. She is my official contact to the Fulbright scholarship program, but she is far more than that.

My first day here in Tirana I could not use my phone locally. I figured out later (much later—about two weeks later) that it was because I was adding an extra zero into the numbers that didn’t need to be there. For example, I had written down several numbers with the following format: +355(06)99999999. What I should have written down was +355(6)99999999. [Just a little thing to know in case you are ever in Tirana and want to make a call on your U.S.-based phone J]

So I was a bit panicked. I could call my Aunt and my son at home to let them know I had arrived. [Although I messed that up, too, as I awakened my aunt at 5AM. For some reason I thought CDT time was AHEAD of my time by 7 hours, not BEHIND by 7 hours. I haven’t made that mistake again!]

But I couldn’t call anyone locally to let him or her know I had arrived. I found a place with free wi-fi and dashed off an email to my official contact, hoping for the best. She immediately emailed me back, said she would meet me where I was, and set my mind at ease.

Not only did she meet me, but she patiently answered my questions and showed me where to buy a local phone. All this was after her usual working hours. So she had definitely gone above and beyond the expected. And has continued to do so.

She also met me on a Saturday to take me shopping at an open air market and will take me to apply for a residency permit. She seems to work at least twelve hour days and every time I have seen her she is cheerful.

What makes her efforts even more amazing is the fact that she has just come back to work after dealing with some major health issues. You would never know it from her demeanor or her work ethic.

She is one courageous woman!

So those are some of the wise and wonderful women I have met since I came here.

Mother Teresa. I will close with the presentation I prepared for Mother Teresa Day coming up on October 18. I will not be able to deliver the presentation in person as I will be at a conference on teaching mediation in Ohrid, Macedonia that day (which I will surely blog about!), but have been told someone else will read it.

If you contributed a word, phrase, or reflection about Mother Teresa when I sent out a call for help, I hope you see your contribution in what I wrote. I know I could not have written anything without the help of all the wise and wonderful people who responded to my call. In the actual presentation, I mention several people by name to thank them for their contributions, but I did not think it was appropriate to do that here. Do know, however, that I gave credit in the presentation that will be used.

Until next time when I will relate the experience of my first time in a classroom here and how it caused me to reflect more on the nuances of the English language.

Shihemi më vonë! (See you later!)

Mother Teresa as an Inspiration to the World

I want to begin by thanking Professor S. for graciously inviting me to take part in this momentous occasion and Rector S. for his support in allowing me to make these remarks.

I also wish I could be here in person today, but sadly, cannot.

I have been asked to say a few words about Mother Teresa as an international figure. In order to prepare my remarks, I sent out a call to friends, colleagues, and former and current students around the world to gather their perceptions of Mother Teresa. I was overwhelmed with responses, more than sixty in all.

Some people simply sent a single word: “wise,” “inspirational,” “genuine,” "holy," “selfless,” “sincere,” “saint.”

Others sent quotes that they attributed to Mother Teresa, such as, “"I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."

And still others sent even longer responses, some of which I will share with you here today.

In compiling the responses I received, one thing became abundantly clear:  The overall vision of Mother Teresa shared by most of those who responded was that of a woman who was a champion for the poor, a messenger for the voiceless, a Catholic who practiced humanism;

A woman who possessed fearless grace and the courage to be unorthodox;

A woman of compassion and generosity;

A strong, caring, and kind servant.

As one of my former students wrote: “She brought not only hope, but a chance for survival to those who had neither.”

Now, keep in mind that the people who responded to my call had been introduced to her through media portrayals or through lessons learned in school. Their impressions are of the idea of Mother Teresa, but it is an idea that runs deep and influences people in many different ways from serving as an inspiration for social justice work, to being an international icon of goodness that changed perceptions of institutions and people, to a beacon of hope.

In regard to her influence on social justice work, a friend of mine wrote, “When I think of Mother Teresa, I think of the tireless in every part of life—especially the educators.  I know some of these people; they give every thought and every hour to their work; they are tireless in their efforts.  They believe—they really do—that they can make a difference. Though they get no reward for this extra effort and not much success data, the effort rewards them in the doing.  They can do nothing else.  It's not as if Mother Teresa would rather have gone bowling or shopping.  She would rather serve humanity than do anything else.  It is a bent.  She was touched by passion to serve.  I think of the old political activists I have known, who keep on keeping on, when they can hardly see and hardly move, trying to make a difference.  The poor, the uneducated, the politically misguided—these are always with us.  Yet someone, somewhere is always chipping away.”

Just as Mother Teresa did, although she did not consider what she did political acts. As she wrote, “I do not care about politics at all . . . I do not deal with any political purpose. I want everyone to know that the most important thing in life is love. Here is the beginning of human rights activity.”

While Mother Teresa is seen by some as an inspiration for social justice work, others see her as an international icon of goodness, a symbol of forward thinking who changed perceptions of institutions and people.

As one of my students who worked in Indonesia this summer responded, “Mother Teresa: There are a lot of things that come to mind when someone says Mother Teresa: loving, saintly, self-less, compassionate, activist. I think she was also more than that. I think she is an international symbol, just as Martin Luther King and Gandhi are. She put a new face on not only the Catholic Church but also charity in general. She affected people directly and indirectly and most importantly, she still does. Just two years ago a brand new Catholic church opened near my home in Topeka, Kansas, and sure enough, it is called Mother Teresa of Calcutta Catholic Parish. So just like all the various Martin Luther King high schools, she is being memorialized.”

Another person who responded to my call, a woman who directed the Center for Public Collaboration at the University of Arkansas for many years, wrote, “The words that come to my mind in relation to Mother Teresa are ‘selfless service.’ She is different from old-time saints who achieved sainthood by suffering various horrible types of martyrdom.  Her type of sainthood has an emphasis on process—looking at someone's whole life rather than one moment of courage.  Perhaps this is one reason she has such broad appeal.  To me—not a Catholic, not even religious—it makes sense to honor someone who spends her life serving those in need.  ‘Feed my sheep’ is a Christian teaching that expresses a value integral to many ethical systems.”

“Do ordinary things with extraordinary love and devotion,” is a saying often attributed to Mother Teresa. It is a saying that sums up the idea of her as an international symbol of goodness.

The last theme I wish to explore briefly is that of Mother Teresa as a beacon of hope. A friend of mine who works in the mental health field summed up this impression beautifully: “When I think of Mother Teresa, I first think of blue and white because of her robes.  I think of her face, which was so wrinkled and weathered, and how it stands for all the good works she has done.   I think of human compassion and the purity of the white among the dirty, dusty streets of Calcutta and how loud the white looks against the filth and despair—like a beacon.  I know she was very human and had failings but was a symbol of God's love and mercy.”

In sum, Mother Teresa lives on in the hearts and minds of people around world as an inspiration for social justice work, as a symbol of selfless service, and as a beacon of hope. People everywhere are grateful to this woman who was in her own words by blood an Albanian, by citizenship an Indian, but who also continues to belong to the whole world.

Thank you again for allowing me to contribute today to the celebration of this great Albanian woman.